Category: Writers Block
Thee I serve, oh beauteous one
by these hands, your will be done
Jagged claws, flesh payeth the toll
From this corpse, rend my mortal soul
Thus burneth the fire within…
Moving lips, swearing vows hallow
Sundered form, wanes in grave shallow
Flaming kiss from overseer
Singing praise of bless'd reaper
Hence the servitude begins…
Latria, unto Thee I give,
by your pious creed I live,
Lamia.
To your powers they'll attest,
As I place lips to your breast,
Lamia.
When the temples crumble, the Nazarene slain
When the bigots fall, hacked in twain
and the world governed by your rein
'tis still Thee I serve, Lamia.
Water's fringe, where young man fell
Cast to Thy enchanting spell
mortal blood and living seed
Shall be the sustenance we need
Thus continues your rule…
Fire burns, as per the plan
Yearning vast, naked I stand
As tongue writhes, toward crest of thigh
Pure thralldom draweth ever nigh
I drinketh of sovereign cruel…
Latria, unto Thee I give,
by your pious creed I live,
Lamia.
To your powers they'll attest,
As I place lips to your breast,
Lamia.
When the temples crumble, the Nazarene slain
When the bigots fall, hacked in twain
and the world governed by your rein
'tis still Thee I serve, Lamia.
Infant born of servant's lust
to your god, a veil of rust
Hossana, lost in seething skies
Believe with us, rebuff the lies
Taketh the child's hand…
Armies rive Eden's gates frail
As your god stands, so shall he fail
Nazarene, now wrought with doom
Lone bequeathed is rotting tomb
We layeth the sheep to land…
Latria, unto Thee I give,
by your pious creed I live,
Lamia.
To your powers they'll attest,
As I place lips to your breast,
Lamia.
When the temples crumble, the Nazarene slain
When the bigots fall, hacked in twain
and the world governed by your rein
'tis still Thee I serve, Lamia.
Jim
Fire burns, as per the plan
Yearning vast, naked I stand
As tongue writhes, toward crest of thigh
Pure thralldom draweth ever nigh
I drinketh of sovereign cruel…
It's beautiful, Sir Jim. All of it, not just that part. Cheers to you.
Jim, Please clarify something for me. The words in this poem seem to have a lot of religious connotations. Yet I can't quite put my finger on what you're trying to communicate. When you refer to the "Nazarene," are you speaking of Jesus or some other Biblical character? In this poem it seems to me that a young man is torn between two deities. Am I correct? Or what's the point that I'm missing here?
I wish you'd add footnotes to your poems. I'm interested in religion and I'm just curious as to what you're trying to say. Don't be offended; I'm not very agile in reading poetry.
This has a lot of imagery. Wouldn't more narration help your readers? Just my numbskull suggestion.
It's intriguing though.
I agree with ErieSilence. In fact, when I first read your poem I had no idea what you were talking about, so I did a little research and got to read an equally haunting poem by Shelley called Lamia.
I also found the following about Lamia from http://www.pantheon.org/articles/l/lamia.html
"Lamia
by Micha F. Lindemans
The ancient Greeks believed that the Lamia was a vampire who stole little children to drink their blood. She was portrayed as a snake-like creature with
a female head and breasts. Usually female, but sometimes referred to as a male or a hermaphrodite.
According to legend, she was once a Libyan queen (or princess) who fell in love with
Zeus.
Zeus' jealous wife
Hera
deformed her into a monster and murdered their offspring. She also made Lamia unable to close her eyes, so that she couldn't find any rest from the obsessing
image of her dead children. When Zeus saw what had be done to Lamia, he felt pity for her and gave his former lover a gift: she could remove her eyes,
and then put them on again. This way, though sleepless, she could rest from her misfortune. Lamia envied the other mothers and took her vengeance by stealing
their children and devouring them.
In Lamia and other Poems (1820), the English poet John Keats writes about Lamia too. In this version, based on the information he found in Anatomy of Melancholy
of the 1600s, Lamia has the ability to change herself into a beautiful young woman. Here she assumes a human form to win a man's love.
Another version of this myth states that Hera killed Lamia's children
and that it was her grief that turned her into a monster."
Now that I am more enlightened, I really like this poem.
Thanks for posting it.
Bob
An interesting footnote, then on to address comments in post three:
I too was unaware of the Lamia, but was forced to look it up after spying it dappled throughout various lyrics I was reading at the time.
Now, the clarification:
* When you refer to the "Nazarene," are you speaking of Jesus or some other Biblical character? *
In this poem, the nazarene refers to Christians as a whole.
* In this poem it seems to me that a
young man is torn between two deities.*
No. The focus of this poem is devout servitude of a dark ruler (portrayed as the Lamia) in the war against the Nazarene.
HTH